My Baby Is My Security Blanket

Many years ago I had very little confidence to do things by myself. As with most insecure people I come across as confident, when in reality I was anything but. I used to hate doing anything alone, even down to going in the local shop by myself, always asking my husband to come in with me instead of just hovering outside in the car, we had many rows about it but I never wanted to go in alone, I felt like people were watching me, judging me and always worried I would hit something over, fall or do something stupid.

photo of mother kissing baby with text over saying my baby is my security blanket

Along came my blog, I went out alone and met new people, alone, I threw myself into it despite absolutely crapping myself and it worked, I wasn't full of confidence but I slowly became more confident, I could now go in to the local shop alone, I still felt paranoid but I could do it. I still couldn't go on a shopping trip by myself but the local shop was fine.

Then along came Aria. I go everywhere with her, either in the pushchair or in her wrap. I walk around full of pride and am comfortable knowing that everyone is looking at Aria, not me. I'm never alone, I always have my baby with me.

I now go for walks with absolutely no purpose other than to walk, I would have felt silly just walking before, I had to have a purpose for everything that I did, now that I have Aria I am more than happy to pop her in the pushchair and walk for miles, not caring what people think of me or worrying that I may fall over, because people look at Aria, not me.

It wasn't until very recently that I realised how much I relied on this. Now that I am so used to having Aria with me I don't want to go out without her. Spencer took over the pushchair the other day and I said "I don't know what to do with my arms!". I have always either carried a bag or recently been pushing Aria, without either I was so conscious of my arms and what to do with them. 

It was then that I realised, I always have hid behind something, my husband, my bag and now my daughter. She may be dependant on me, but I am on her too, she is my security blanket.

People comment on how brave I am taking her on long days out alone, in all honesty, I'm nervous and shy, taking Aria on days out with me gives me added confidence and something to talk to people about, I'm really anything but brave, I'm just hiding behind a baby.

Do you hide behind anything or anyone?



  1. I was thinking exactly the same thing yesterday - I had a doctors appointment and my husband offered to have Isabella, but I refused the offer. I couldn't imagine going anywhere without her now, just the idea makes me feel lonely, scared, sad. I am like you - my daughter is my security blanket and I'm ok with admitting that :)

    Helen x


  2. Yes, this post resolutes with me too. Lovely post x

  3. I can identify with this too! I have always come in and gone out of anxiety periods where I just feel like everyone is watching and scrutinising me and it is really difficult to bear. Aria is so lovely! xx

    elizabeth | ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara | follow for a follow!

  4. I love your honesty. I think that people who don't have social anxiety have a hard time realizing how hard it can be on those who do. I often think that I married an extrovert just for that reason. As I'm getting older, it gets easier, but it's still hard on those days when it's just me in public. I do think that more people need that security blanket than we might imagine though; it just comes in different forms, (another person, a book, even talking and laughing loudly). All of those things compensate for the fact that we sometimes (or most of the time) feel uncomfortable around strangers. Great post! #twinklytuesday

  5. I totally understand this because I'm reaaaaally similar, I use big bags to hide behind and big scarves, they make me feel more comfortable!

  6. Love your honestly in this post. Before Aria you were already feeling more confident but it's fab that she has made you even more so. Sounds like one of those relationships where you simply both need each other. Loveky :) Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  7. This is a lovely post - love how she makes you feel confident. I too love walking these days whereas I would only take the car before. Good for you. xxx

  8. Oh what a lovely, honest post. I hadn't really thought about it before - thank you for the prompt! Kaz x


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