In this fabulous post Kate is discussing parenting, attachment or routine led, which is for you?
Many parents these days follow the increasingly popular attachment parenting technique. Attachment parenting follows the 7 ‘B’s:
* birth bonding (skin to skin),
* bedding close to baby (co-sleeping),
* belief in the language value of your baby’s cry (definitely no controlled crying, this means responding to your baby’s every cry)
* beware of baby trainers (not footwear – this refers to the books and guides that advocate strict routines to ‘train’ your baby)
Many parents who follow these 7 B’s actually speak of their sadness that attachment parenting now has a name, maintaining that this is actually just the way babies have always been brought up, a return to the instinctive way of things. And it’s true that in generations past, this is the way things were done.
But does that make it ‘right’?
There are many parents now who follow a strict routine based lifestyle. They believe that babies should be introduced to a routine from day 1, should always sleep on their own and can be left to cry and to self soothe.
This is a tough debate that rages regularly. Where do I stand? I stand on the fence.
I am by no means an attachment parent. I don’t respond immediately to every cry, I don’t co-sleep and I don’t have a problem with some routine led ‘baby training’. However, I breastfed, I babywear and birth bonding was a huge thing for me.
For me, the 7th ‘B’ is the most important. Balance. We use a balance, a mish mash of several styles and that works for us. We have a balance between family time and adult time. We have a balance between big group activities involving all the children and one to one time with each parent. We have a balance that keeps our life in balance. And that’s good enough for me.
Our parenting style is also on the fence, I occasionally babywear, I breastfed for a short while and was adamant that I would have skin to skin when Aria was born. However co-sleeping was a no-no, we did it on the odd occasion when we fell asleep breastfeeding but I'll be honest, it scared me, I thought I would roll over and crush her! I too will leave Aria to cry now and again. I know when she is crying because she is over tired and just needs to be left alone to sleep. I also know when something isn't right and she needs her mummy.
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Where did you sit on the parenting style debate? Are you more attachment, routine led or neither?